It’s Christmas eve but it doesn’t feel like Christmas. I don’t feel the holiday spirit or feel like exchanging gifts. I don’t really see the point because with all the money we spend on gifts for other people it probably would have been more cost affective to just buy the shit we wanted for ourselves. I don’t hate Christmas, I hate exchanging gifts, it’s uncomfortable for me. It causes me great anxiety having to open a gift. The person giving the gift is watching you closely, inspecting and evaluating your reaction, waiting for your excited response. If feel like a performer putting on a show trying to make the person giving the gift feel better about them selves. If the gift sucks then forget about it, I think the worst gifts usually get the most excited reaction, I call it over acting. Oh wow thanks! I’ve always wanted a lime green sweater that’s three sizes too big! I‘ll grow into it, it‘s perfect! You wouldn’t happen to have the receipt would you?
Then there is the givers who lack confidence. The one’s that as they’re handing you your nicely wrapped little package to open, are already telling you about how you might not like it. The one’s that wrap the receipt right in there with the unisex turquoise turtleneck that has white snow flakes down the sleeves. Of course you give them the same show as everyone else then go to WalMart the next day and exchange it for a pack of socks.
You know what else kind of bugs me, how is giving a gift card any different then giving cash? It’s basically the same fucking thing. The only difference is a gift card has less options. I can spend cash anywhere I damn please, so in that regard doesn’t that make cash a better gift? I have gift cards from last year I’ve never used because the opportunity has not come about. If it were cash it would have been spent in a few days, I have bills to pay! I must admit though that I have committed gift cardism on more then one occasion when gifting. It’s not my fault that giving cash is socially unacceptable, plus it’s easy to get gift cards for people they sell those fuckers at gas station convenience stores. I’m driving to my parents house tonight, I’m going to have to get gas, might as well kill two birds with one stone. I can have all my Christmas shopping done in five minutes and get a full tank of gas!
Am I a miserable, rotten, jaded twenty seven year old? Yes. Do I hate Christmas? No. I like Christmas, I get free food and a day off from the job.