The Disposable Boy

I am not an alcoholic, I do not need to be medicated. These of course are all things I lied about, I just made them up to help take attention away from the eight month relationship I was having behind my fiancees back. For eight months I was sending and receiving dirty pictures, talking dirty and engaging in relationship type activities. Because of my underlying guilt and shame my writing has become overly negative and too emo for even my friends to read or care about. Please do not concern yourselves with what any of the underlying problems may be, there is no reason to fear that I was drinking myself to death, that I was severely depressed, possibly even suicidal. There is no reason to fear the things that are NOT true.

It’s clear that what is true, does not matter. What is true, only gets in the way of the stories that make the most sense. The truth does not have the desired outcome. I lied once, so forever I am a liar. Find all the holes and cracks you can, to make what you want the truth to be, make sense to you.

I am not a man with problems, I am a boy, the disposable boy. Abandon me. Turn my lies into fact and the truth into simple little stories that you can easily discredit. I haven’ spent a lifetime avoiding drama, I was just saving it up to cash in all at once. This is the show, the spectacle I have secretly always wanted. Keep talking about me, assuming you know everything and you of course are right.

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