Little Man

i sat and watched
a stray cat play
in the trash today
he kept stopping
to peek over at me
i talked to him
out loud but quietly
you’re OK little man
i won’t hurt you
you’re a lot like me
sifting through
discarded memory
in fact, we are the same
we sift through the past
frame by frame
it’s sad but we will not
find the truth today
there’re no answers
to how we go this way
despite how much we dig
Little Man
we will always be lost

To “Love” Someone

Forest Gump
was not a smart man
but perhaps
smarter than me about
i thought i knew
i really did
but it seems i was wrong
dead wrong

there are somethings
i know well
like fear
fear of being alone
fear of not having that safety net
of not having someone to rely on
not having someone to do the things
i am too weak to do myself
fear is something i know

did i love her?
or did i just enjoy her tits
her ass
did i really love her?
or did i just love
being inside her
was i in lust?

it’s the thing i know best
i didn’t love her
i just liked having her around
because i disliked her
more than myself

it turns out there’s
a whole fucking list of ways
To “Love” Someone
you don’t even like
of course until
the inevitable breakup

while half crying and half yelling
you both explain to each other

You’re not a real man.
You never fuck me!
You just use me for sex.
What Sex? You just used me to get away from your ex!
You’re an asshole!
Tell me something i don’t already know.
I’ve already replaced you with a better guy!
Good! i hope he cheats on you!
You’re an ugly, pathetic excuse for a man who will die alone!
Break up sex?

How i Cope with Depression

i’ve been wanting to write something all week and i just couldn’t get my mind around what i wanted to say. It wasn’t until i was writing an email to someone i use to work with, that i realized exactly what i wanted to say. She wrote to me, telling me about how she stumbled across my website and how she felt about me and my writing.

“Although some of your words are shocking and vulgar I adore your writings!”

What she couldn’t have known is the internal struggle i have been going through about my book and the things i have written. Her positive reinforcement was something i really needed with the launch of my book. She was very open and honest about her struggles, struggles i can’t help but relate to. I wrote… “As you know, to feel as low as we can feel in life sometimes is hard enough but i for some reason feel that absolute need to write about it. Not just right about but also share it publicly. it’s part of what helps me. To find out we aren’t alone.”

“To see, after working with you, your great love and respect for the people you work with is inspiring!”

I wrote to her about how most of the feedback i get is positive but ironically it’s the people closest to me that have the hardest time trying to understand. It’s easy to see why especially when you are the subject of the words. How could you be objective about what you read when you are reading about yourself?

“Reading your words made me feel more understood and less alone in that time in my life”

i know that what i write at times will upset people, it will hurt people, people who i love and people who love me. This was and is my biggest struggle with releasing my book but it’s not my biggest struggle in life. Sometimes people don’t understand my choice with how i cope with depression. In my letter,i wrote…”their intentions are of love and caring but what i don’t think they can comprehend is that just a moment of relating with someone who understands is more helpful, more powerful and healing for me than any doctor or prescription.”

And from there i continued to pontificate about life saying…”Life is not all bad, not even close. There are times where it’s hard to see the sun through the clouds and impossible to feel warm in the rain. Some days are hot and other days or brutally cold (well maybe not in FL). Sometimes the wind is harsh and sometimes the breeze is perfect. Sometimes i laugh, sometimes i cry, sometimes i feel nothing and all of if this is beautiful. Life is beautiful and i use words to try and remind myself of that.”

and… “We might not all have the same experiences in life but we all have a story, a past, a secret, a lie, a bruised spot on our heart that never seems to heal. Just another thing that makes life beautiful.”

“After reading your writings I realize someone understands. Someone I adored and looked up to at work understood me and my situation.”

i realize now, that i must continue to use words as medication. The worst thing i could is to have upset and hurt people close to me for no good reason. All of this has a purpose and through the hurt and pain, i think it will make life taste a little sweeter for everyone.

“I just wanted you to know that your writing has had an impact on me, you had already had an impact on me. Your words have an impact! Never forget that, as you clearly often do.”

i have to say thank you for this letter and thank you to everyone who has purchased my book. You have inspired me more than ever and now that i’ve put myself out there, i must push harder and do it more. i want to put this show on the road, why can’t a poet open for a band? i think taking the words off the page and delivering them personally would be absolutely terrifying but potentially the most rewarding thing i could ever do.



Audio Excerpt

i was messing around a little on garage band and youtube today.

#WhoAreYou (part three)

The Interview (part three)

Do you think it’s possible your writing could give people an unfavorable view of you?

What you’re asking me is will people think i’m an asshole, and yes i think there’s a very real possibility of that. i reveal a lot about others and not always in a very kind way. My family will be horrified, people who were co-workers, bosses or my employees will be shocked, ex-girlfriends/lovers might be flattered, embarrassed or completely outraged.

Is it your intention to be shocking.

Like i’ said before, i never set out to be controversial or shocking. i just wanted to be as honest as possible and it turns out honesty is shocking. While is was in the writing process of The Lies That Cause The Cancer i was completely unaware of how what i was writing could make me look. It wasn’t until the editing process that i became aware of how self-absorbed and even misogynistic it could come across. There are definitely lines in the book that still make me cringe and i’ve been living with these words for a few years now.

Why not edit the book to put a better light on you?

i made a conscious decision to respect the words and the moments. Self-editing can be very tricky, there’s a big difference between editing and rewriting. Trust me there was plenty of things i wanted to omit but i knew then it would just be a book of lies. In hindsight, i learned something about myself. Nobody judges me more harshly than i judge myself and i think that’s why my words can make me seem so shitty. It’s because that’s how i felt about myself when i was writing them.




Official Amazon.com Release October 15th


This is a poetry book or an unpoetry book. JP Lake is brutally honest in this freeform collection, taking a long, unblinking look in the mirror.