the truth

To “Love” Someone

Forest Gump
was not a smart man
but perhaps
smarter than me about
love
i thought i knew
i really did
but it seems i was wrong
dead wrong

there are somethings
i know well
like fear
fear of being alone
fear of not having that safety net
of not having someone to rely on
not having someone to do the things
i am too weak to do myself
fear is something i know

did i love her?
or did i just enjoy her tits
her ass
did i really love her?
or did i just love
being inside her
was i in lust?

self-loathing
it’s the thing i know best
i didn’t love her
i just liked having her around
because i disliked her
more than myself

it turns out there’s
a whole fucking list of ways
To “Love” Someone
you don’t even like
of course until
the inevitable breakup

while half crying and half yelling
you both explain to each other
why

You’re not a real man.
You never fuck me!
You just use me for sex.
What Sex? You just used me to get away from your ex!
You’re an asshole!
Tell me something i don’t already know.
I’ve already replaced you with a better guy!
Good! i hope he cheats on you!
You’re an ugly, pathetic excuse for a man who will die alone!
Break up sex?